Unexpected Feelings

I’m in Bellingham, Washington spending some time with my parents while Nate finishes packing the house and taking care of last minute work stuff. It’s been a great 3 days and my parents and I have had a lot of fun and laughter. Today we spent time with my Aunt & Uncle and my Grandmother and it was wonderful. We had a great time laughing and teasing each other and telling stories of when all the kids (me, my brother and our three cousins) where young. It was a great Washington day filled with only a small amount of rain and unexpected sunshine. Tomorrow I’m heading to Port Townsend and will spend the next 4 days with my brother, sister-in-law, my nephew and my two beautiful nieces. I’m really looking forward to spending every minute soaking up as much of the kids as I possibly can. Zac is 3, Zoey just turned 2 and Ally is only 4 months old. I can’t wait to become a human jungle-gym for a few days. I’ll cherish every giggle, every moment, every tantrum and I’ll steal as many hugs and kisses as I possibly can.

And as much as I’m loving these eight days of soaking up all this wonderful love and joy that my family gives me, I’m feeling… lonely. It’s a strange sort of melancholy sadness. A turn-the-page-this-chapter-in-your-life-is-over kind of ache in my heart. It’s a feeling I definitely wasn’t expecting to feel. I had expectations of a pure, non-employed bliss, the whole world is before me, the future belongs to us, we can conquer it all type of a feeling. This melancholy, lonely business was NOT something that I expected.

I suppose it makes sense though; I quit my job, we’re packing our entire house and placing it in storage for who knows how long, I have to give away my cat, we’re selling Gidget (our mini cooper), we’re leaving all our friends to move to a country that doesn’t speak English and we have no clue where we’re even going to live. I’m thinking my brain and my emotions might be slightly on overload! Absolutely everything is going to change about our lives in about 9 days… Country. Language. House. Money. Friends. Church. Priorities. Everything!

Well, everything except for two things: God and my husband.

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Comments

I can definitely empathisize…8 years ago I moved from Vancouver, B.C. to San Francisco, CA. Although not as big a move as what you are facing, I went through a lot of the same emotions. Contrary to popular belief, Canada is not just another American state. :)

I am definitely envious that you are moving to France, but I also remember that it took time to get used to it when I was vacationing there let alone living there.

You are embarking on an amazing adventure – be sure to enjoy as much as you can amidst all the stress. And just remember the US will still be here if you want to return. :)

Tara,

We made a similar move about 2 years ago, although not from Canada. We moved from Bellingham, WA (almost Canadian) to San Diego. It was big, but very fun. For some reason (perhaps the enormity and language difference) this one feels much weirder.

Considering only Tilly has been to Europe before, this will definitely be an “amazing adventure”.

Thanks for the well-wishes.

[…] past few days have been kinda crazy, as we mentioned. But, the time is coming. At the time of this writing, the ticker on the side says 5 days and 7 […]

Tara- Thanks for your advice and understanding. By the way, I’d love to meet you some day. :) -Tilly

Tilly, long time no talk. I just saw nates email and that you are really truly planning on moving to France! And to NICE?!?!
Freakin awesome.
Well, all i can say is Bon Courage! (sort of a mix of ‘good luck’ and ‘be strong’ and ‘best wishes’)

I am three and a half months into the SECOND move to a foreign country which speaks a different language. (france was the first and remains my first love) Japan is HARD! France is wonderful. That’s my two cents… :)
You are gonna love it there… But i have to tell you, moving like that comes with moments of sadness and loneliness , but also with the life changing, maturing, wonderful memories and experiences. Don’t know what to say but Bon Courage. Love you guys and wish you well on this amazing journey…

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